This weekend was fun.
But one day, the squirrels will rise to power.
Sep
15
Landannnn Town!
Aug
30
The Ending is Just the Beginning Repeating
This week, I reached my own personal breaking point. I’ve covered the occasional trials and tribulations of ANU before, but not so much the lasting impression on me. While my plans fell apart around me, and I couldn’t find any help, I sank to a low point: I lost motivation to act, my schedule went out the window, and I mentally fell apart.
After 5 months of that, it doesn’t simply snap back into place. I’ve spent much of the summer the same way – disillusioned and lost. My view of the world is fairly negative at the moment. I treat all politicians with distrust and disdain; I question the point behind any action; while I pine for those simple and happy moments I enjoyed in the past. I missed friends, I missed not having to worry about my degree, I missed the feel of innocent happiness that ANU took away from me.
I didn’t know where my mind was. I still don’t, really. However, I have started to turn the corner. Maybe it was because I made a big step towards getting my degree back on track. Maybe my mourning period with ANU has officially finished. I don’t know. All I know is, I have fresh resolve to get myself back on track. I miss having purpose to get up in the morning, I miss looking forward to learning about new Maths, and eagerly anticipating new lectures. I miss being an active person.
I know I can’t change myself overnight, but I want to start making steps towards it. I have fresh resolve to pick up on all my unfinished projects, and take them to their conclusions. I want to start getting up on a morning again, and giving myself the whole day to be productive. I want to go out, running, and get my fitness back. Will it be easy? I don’t know. So far, all I’ve done is tidied my room and wrote a to-do list. I suppose it’s a start.
This morning, I decided to follow a positive route and do something fun. I went to a raceway and watched some cars drive around a track for 5 hours. I had fun, even if it was quite wet. Perhaps I can fly as high as them…
I still don’t know what I’m going to do with my blog. Point #4 on the to-do list is to redesign it. Maybe I’ll rebrand it and start to share it with more vigour. My attention span is far too short to maintain any kind of topical blog, but never mind. It won’t go down though, I need this space to vent. Every so often, I think I’m being philosophical. Is it better to not do things and maintain the status quo, or do something that could hurt you and others around you? I’ve spent a while looking at the past now, but I’d rather look to the future. The answer to the question? I don’t know. I don’t think it’s important. All these ‘philosophical questions’ are tied into such a specific set of circumstances that it’s impossible to ask them. Que sera, sera. Live life for the moment, just like car 22. Having attempted the jump once, and still not ruined his engine, he pestered the marshalls into letting him have another go. Totally worth it.
Aug
11
Panic on the Streets of London
Well, the last few days in England have been interesting to watch. From the safety of my sofa, I’ve flicked my way through the various global news channels reporting on the civil collapse of London, wondering quite what was going on. From BBC News showing the fires sweeping across Clapham, to even Al-Jazeera broadcasting to the world that London is not quite the city it would have the world believe it is.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, France looked on with disdain (our riots aren’t even a scratch on theirs), while Russian news didn’t seem to mention it (as always, Soviet Russia had even more mental things going on), but everywhere else, London stock is falling rapidly. Perhaps the only saving grace is that stock is falling on a global scale, with America now only trusted with $115 trillion worth of loans – almost a third of a million dollars for every single man, woman and child in the US. It makes my £60 dip into my overdraft look like incredible money-management.
If nothing else, these riots have confirmed that Britain is a nation of whiners. Riots born of a protest that British policing is too heavy-handed is seeing the police attract criticism for not being heavy-handed enough. It’s difficult to know the next step. Continuing as is will see us continue to whine that the police aren’t doing enough, while stepping it up a level will see us blast them for using excessive force. Not changing any British policies positively will see the government criticised for not listening to the people, while changing them to support the riotous areas will send out the message that rioting is the best course of action for political change. It’s almost as though when people have an opinion, they refuse to consider why such a course of action was taken.
This ignorance is not a flattering feature of the English mentality, a far cry from the lifestyle I was used to in Australia. A far stronger attitude of acceptance and apathy covers their response to such actions. There wouldn’t have been a protest against someone illegally carrying a loaded gun through central London being shot, regardless of who opened firing. Nor would the looters have been left to run wild. That said, I don’t know that their lifestyle is that much better – just last week, someone was killed in Canberra not far from where I studied. They have bizarre opinions of what immigration laws should be, and racism is far too accepted in this modern age. Perhaps every country has its own problems, and this is just ours. I just wish we could grow up and stop being so mental.
In other news, I’m back in Sheffield. It’s good to be here.
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